She was in a lot of pain when she was younger
Jenelle Evans had a lot going against her in her youth; it wasn’t extremely surprising when she got pregnant at 16 with a boy who didn’t stick around to help her out. Jenelle didn’t have a father figure, and she felt that her strict mother didn’t love her enough. Barbara was surely just trying to rein in the wildness of her teen daughter, but Jenelle didn’t see it that way. She broke down about how her pain took her to the darkest of places.
It’s obvious from watching any episode of Teen Mom 2 that Jenelle doesn’t get along with her mom Barbara, and it’s not just because Babs has custody of her son Jace. There are a lot of deeply rooted issues between them. Jenelle revisited those hard feelings in her new book Read Between The Lines: Diary of a Teenage Mom
She recalled one particularly painful time in her life by rewriting a passage she wrote in her old diary, originally written on August 20th, 2005.
She was just 13, and Barbara found out that she was hanging out with an 18-year-old man. Jenelle got grounded, and she was deeply hurt. She wrote, “Now my mom doesn’t love me any more, she wishes I drop dead. That hurts me so much and now I have no one to love me. I want to tell my mom that I’m sorry for being born because I know I was just another accident.”
Jenelle continued, “She’s also canceling modeling cuz she thinks I’m too ugly for it… she tells me I’m a lil whore. She treats me like I’m not alive. But then she won’t let me kill myself cuz she’ll go to jail or something.”
While that sounds like child abuse on Barbara’s part, Jenelle reprieved herself by saying it probably didn’t happen. “I know it reads like a kid just regurgitating what she heard, but I know my mom didn’t say those things to me. I must’ve been really upset, and made up a bunch of stuff to make myself feel better about being punished for something, at heart, I knew was my fault,” she wrote.