“He sees the knives on the counter, he thinks maybe he can go out that way, he just wants his mind to stop the wander, to stop the shower, of all these emotions that hold all the power, stacked as high as a tower & that tower keeps holding the power to blocking the sunlight, he’s lost in this dark city of towers & now he’s lost in this dark fight, so now he realizes he really has lost all the power,” Tyler writes. Then he recalls his suicide attempt.
“He climbs up a tree in the backyard & starts to ponder. As tears fall from his cheeks, he can see the rope that’s tied to a tire, where he used to swing as a kid just to see if he could get higher. He’s always been a fighter, but he thinks today is his time to surrender. He grabs that rope, ties it around his neck, then jumps with the weight of all his emotions & he can’t seem to cope with all that, which makes the rope snap back.”
“He sees that rope swinging there eerily under the blue sky where these free birds fly,” Tyler recalls. “He’s envious that these birds can just fly & he’s jealous that these birds don’t have to sit here in the dirt while still gasping for air as his neck stars to bleed & really starts to hurt.”
Read Tyler’s full poem above.
Tyler has shared that his recent efforts in therapy and support from his wife Catelynn, who has also suffered from suicidal thoughts has helped him feel more stable. He uses poetry as an outlet to alleviate some of his negative thoughts.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
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