She grew up insecure but is finding her path to happiness
Jenelle Evans has been living a far more peaceful, mature, and loving life than she was in previous years, and we're so happy for her. Her happiness is only set to grow as she plans her wedding to David Eason and her home becomes complete. Plus, she's also got an entire summer to spend with her boy Jace.
We're just on the eve of the release of Jenelle's new book, and the passages that she's released ahead of time explain so much about her.
Maladjusted
Jenelle turned to her childhood diaries to explain how she was raised and how that affected her life (which was quite turbulent at times) in the future. She wrote, "This diary entry written at thirteen says so much about me and my life then and now. It is lonely. It is sad. It is rejected. I did cry myself to sleep some nights of out fear and negativity. I would like to say I will never cry myself to sleep again, but I know this isn’t true. No matter how much I accomplish, a secret part of me will always be this scared thirteen-year-old girl. I will always feel awkward and maladjusted."
Getting Better
As sad as that passage is, Jenelle is getting better now that she has all that love from her three kids and her soon-to-be husband David. She explained, "I may smile at the camera, but sometimes I am dying on the inside. Not always, and not nearly as often as years ago, but the doubt and insecurities are still there. It’s there, somewhere, hidden under years of smiles, the assurance that everything is okay."
Meet William
Of all of the men that have been in Jenelle's life, there's one that really stands out. He was the love of her life for a long time, but he was also the guy who introduced her to things that would end up harming her down the road.
Jenelle said about William, "That’s also the night I met William for the first time. This was the boy who would change my life forever. All of the other guys before him were just puppy love infatuations compared to William. He was my first, true love. I know, I know! I wrote that a half million times in my diaries and I am sure I thought as much about each and every boy before William, but he really was different."
One Bad Mama
Of course, Jenelle had a lot to say about her mother Barbara, who she has some serious issues with. Jenelle recalled one time when Barbara told Jenelle to go out on the town so that she could relax.
Jenelle wrote, "I should have been suspicious at the time. My mother wasn’t the relaxing type of person, much less the kind of woman to encourage other to enjoy themselves. Least of all me. I took the bait, however, and went out for the evening with Tori.…
"When I returned home with Tori the next morning, we found a Child Protective Services vehicle in the driveway. My mother had called them and told them I was out partying all night and left my son at home. She told them I did this pretty much every night, which was a lie. I tried to tell them she told me to go out, but they wouldn’t listen. They gave my mother temporary custody in light my actions. MY mother had set me up and I had fallen hard for it."
Real Relaxation
On the topic of what actually relaxes Jenelle, you can tell by her beautiful bathtubs at her new house that a warm bath really serves her body and soul. "You can see here where I talk about taking too many baths. I still take several baths a day if I get upset or depressed. It’s a form of release or me, a place of calm I can go to get over things," she wrote.
The Big Question
How could she not talk about that romantic mountain-top proposal! On that subject, she said, "The sweet part about all of this was that he made a point to make sure I was dressed nicely and had put my makeup on before we were caught on film. He didn’t do this because he wanted to make sure I appeared a certain way to impress other people. He did this because he knows I don’t like to be caught on camera unless I am prepared for it. So he suggested I dress like I would for a fancy meal, which was his way of tricking me into getting my own self ready for the camera. Isn’t that sweet? I think this one might be a keeper."
You can read more about Jenelle's life in her book Read Between the Lines: From the Diary of a Teenage Mom, which comes out on July 25th. Are you going to pick it up? Let us know in the comments and SHARE this story!