13-Year-Old Jenelle’s Diary Reveals Horrifying Abuse at the Hands of Barbara

Jenelle's Childhood

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It's obvious from watching any episode of Teen Mom 2 that Jenelle doesn't get along with her mom Barbara, and it's not just because Babs has custody of her son Jace. There are a lot of deeply rooted issues between them. Jenelle revisited those hard feelings in her new book Read Between The Lines: Diary of a Teenage Mom

She recalled one particularly painful time in her life by rewriting a passage she wrote in her old diary, originally written on August 20th, 2005.

So Young

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She was just 13, and Barbara found out that she was hanging out with an 18-year-old man. Jenelle got grounded, and she was deeply hurt. She wrote, "Now my mom doesn’t love me any more, she wishes I drop dead. That hurts me so much and now I have no one to love me. I want to tell my mom that I’m sorry for being born because I know I was just another accident."

Shocking Speech

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Jenelle continued, "She’s also canceling modeling cuz she thinks I’m too ugly for it… she tells me I’m a lil whore. She treats me like I’m not alive. But then she won’t let me kill myself cuz she’ll go to jail or something."

While that sounds like child abuse on Barbara's part, Jenelle reprieved herself by saying it probably didn't happen. "I know it reads like a kid just regurgitating what she heard, but I know my mom didn’t say those things to me. I must’ve been really upset, and made up a bunch of stuff to make myself feel better about being punished for something, at heart, I knew was my fault," she wrote.

Kill Myself

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On April 29th, 2006, Jenelle wrote, "I cannot believe I was about 2 kill myself and film it."

Jenelle explained, "Another cry for attention, I am certain of it. This time I got the attention I wanted when [my friend] told William about the plan. It upset him and he decided enough was enough. He was tired of investing time in a girl who thought trying to kill herself were just things to try out for the fun of it." (Jenelle earlier stated that William is the man that got her into using drugs, but it seems like self-harm was too far for him.)

Cutting

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Jenelle decided to drop her plan for suicide, but she wanted to try out something. She wrote, "I tried cutting myself for the first and last time. It wasn’t anything serious, just a few scratches on one arm. I tried it out because I had heard other kids at school talk about how it relieved stress and helped me get over bad stuff that was happening around them."

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